After the after effects

Now if by some weird conspiracy of nature, and this means you are in no way responsible for the sequence of events, you end up working 85 hours in a week at your beloved and to die for office ( for the mathematically challenged, that turns out to be more than 11 hrs every day). And after you have recovered from fainting after imagining this scenario, let’s continue. Now such a wonderful event is bound to have consequences, just as the warm wave of happiness that engulfs you after having choco chip chocolate ice cream with chocolate sauce. Event and consequence I said. 

So here’s presenting the after effects of spending your quality time working for a behemoth which pays you enough to restrain yourself from strangulating the MD but not enough to write about it (it’s as worse as the former…trust me..it’s my writing :))

1. Tune getting stuck in the head syndrome

Yup. That happens to most of us, even on our good days. But when the tune in question is a Himesh Reshammiya gem, from his movie “dumdumdum” or something to that effect, you are correctly entitled to officially freak out. And the worse part of it all? It’s not the fact he is asking Umrao Jan to come close to him, or the surveillance anthemish “No touching only seeing” threat. It’s the background beat of tin ding tin ding. It comes and grips you when you are at your most vulnerable. And then it never leaves.

2. Unsocial solicitations

You work. You go home. Sleep. Get up and then work.

Pretty short cycle, but it continues.

And then the weekend comes. 6 pm on a Sunday evening. Normal people are having a genial general outing, meaning they are out and eating bad food at some expensive restaurant. But you are trying to figure whether to give the edge blend command before or after the trim extend one*. Believe me, it requires immense focus and grey cell burning activity.

And a happy friend who is enjoying a happy Sunday on a happy evening decides to give the social loner a call and enquire about her mental health and well being.

But ooooooo..he wants to be a bit more happy, so there has to be some fun to be injected into the proceedings. While your boss comes to your place asking for what seems like a 100^th time in the past 10 mins to ask if you have completed the work, the friend calls.

Unknown number…hesitation in picking up….hello…helllloooooo….Yes…arey guess guess kaun hai..hello..umm..icckkk…brrrrr….helloo..Hi this is Federer*…Are you ok?..Those were some weird sounds..umm icckkk brrrrr…I just called randomly. How are you? Oh Federer..I am a bit busy..working in office…On a Sunday??!!!!…Hawwww…that’s really sad. I feel so sorry for you..I mean it’s the saddest thing I heard since the holocaust..I mean it’s so sad…err..I have work. Can I call you later..icckk..brrrr. Click

*I refer to fictional and unnamed friends of mine as Federer. And I am not going to offer any explanation for this.

3. Free of cost Nirvana

It happens, you rise above it all. Lord Buddha and various self-help gurus have prescribed it as the ultimate sense of awakening moment, losing a sense of the surroundings and being only aware of your own presence. Well…partly. You are aware of your own presence alright, the presence of the vein on your forehead that’s about to burst under the pressures of deadlines, the presence of your curling spine that is taking the shape of a pretzel gradually, the fingers that are developing arthritis due to excessive mouse usage, the eyes that have turned a sickly shade of red. But it’s not that bad. Because all these side effects come with a heightened sense of loss of the awareness of the time, day and date. Timeless existence. Who would have thought?

4. Bye-giene

Let me put it this way. The L’ Oreal people whom you have been putting off for months for a commercial shoot will have to be disappointed again. Because the “you don’t remember whether you took a bath..your hair smells worse than your feet..no your dress isn’t black..it just isn’t washed..yeah you can claw your way up a burial with these nails” routine still does obscure your natural beauty.

5.Mere Sapno ke Rajkumars

At some point of time, your dreams comprised of Brad Pitt playing tennis with Federer, with George Clooney officiating and Orlando bloom as the ball boy. Now!! Oh the horrors.Side sills, main floors, unigraphics, car chassis……arrrgggggghhhhhhhhh. It makes you want to get up from your sleep as early as possible and go to it as late as possible. And that is actually what you have to do.It is the worst best thing to happen.

6.Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The levels of sleep deprivation reaches such heights, that you start falling asleep in the middle of eating food (scary situation believe me, just imagine pasta with red sauce eeeks), brushing your teeth, putting on your socks, conversations on the phone, conversations in person, writing blog pos…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………